Some people don’t know how to express their emotions properly or have problems to express them by some of the reasons mentioned in the previous page. A fairly common mistake consists in despite the fact that you only have two options: express your emotions completely or repress them. However, you have several options to choose from, both in the way of expressing them in its intensity.
You can express an emotion through words, and tell someone that you love her, but also through behaviors (such as leave an adhesive note with a drawn heart) and also you can express them through art, dance, etc. For example, you can make a drawing that represents what you feel in your relationship.
If someone has done you a favor, you can show your appreciation with words, but also with a gift or returning the favor.
For some people, it is especially difficult to express their feelings through words. If this is the case, can you think of ways of expressing the resulting you easier, as behavior. However, it is also important to note that sometimes there is more suitable than other modes of expression. For example, if you feel upset because you think that a coworker is taking advantage of you and you want to stop doing so, the most appropriate way is speak directly to that person of the problem to try to resolve it. That does not prevent that, at the same time, you can resort to other strategies, how to put in writing what you feel, even if no one read what you’ve written, as a way to feel better to express yourself and clarify your ideas.
Therefore, the steps could be the following:
1. Identifies what you feel. I.e., name you the emotion or emotions you’re feeling.
2. Identifies the cause. Ask yourself: do I feel so?
3. Analyze your thoughts. Thoughts also have an influence on your emotions. If you think that your coworker is to hurt by the way you feel anger, while if you think that simply you is hurting his own ignorance you can feel something different.
Therefore, if you consider your thoughts, you know when you need to verify them. Following the example above, you would be helpful to try to discover if what you think (for example, that your partner does by the way) it is true or you’re wrong to think so. Think of the right way can save you feel unnecessary anger.
4. Think what is the best way of expressing your feelings (words, conduct, art…). You may sometimes need to express them in various ways at the same time. Ask yourself what you think will happen to express it in one way or another, i.e., what you think the consequences will be.
5. Ask yourself what you want to get to express a certain emotion. For example: feel better, clarify how you feel because you have no clear, show affection or appreciation, solve a problem with another person… This will help you find the most appropriate way of expressing them.
6. Regulates the intensity of your emotions. It is not the same to express your anger, screaming and threatening that express it talking in a way somewhat severe but calmly and proper intensity. If you think that to express a certain emotion you will not be able to control yourself, you can do several things: one is to rehearse first being alone, and another is to find an alternative way of expressing it. For example, if you think you’re going to feel an exaggerated wrath by talking to someone something that has bothered you, you can choose to express it in writing first. You can use this letter to give it to someone or just for you, as a way of controlling the intensity of the anger and get ready to be able to directly express what you feel without having a pop.
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